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McCall, ID, 83638
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We are an Idaho Wedding and Event Magazine.  We specialize in destination weddings in areas like McCall and Sun Valley.  We can help you find  resources for your Boise Wedding, McCall Area Wedding, Sun Valley Wedding or perhaps a North Idaho Wedding. 

 

Blog

RSVP etiquette

Sherry Scheline

photo: inside edition

photo: inside edition

Jessica Baker, a Minnesota woman, has a story that has gone viral. She was sent a bill for $75.90 when she failed to show up at her friends wedding. 

"Jessica Baker was invited to the wedding and her mother was supposed to watch her children. But at the last minute, she says she received a call from her mother who said she could no longer babysit her kids. Since the wedding invitation said no children, Jessica opted not to go."

Jessica Baker and the bride have seen a slew of comments across social media.  Some are outraged that a bride would do this. A small few however have allowed it to bring awareness to social etiquette.  

Invitation Suite: Paperie + Pen      Photo: Tana Photography 

Invitation Suite: Paperie + Pen      Photo: Tana Photography 

When should I send out our invitations?
Invitations go out six to eight weeks prior to the wedding -- that gives your guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and of course make travel arrangements. If it's a destination wedding (perhaps in McCall or Sun Valley), give guests more time and send them out three to four months ahead of time.  Most couples may also choose to send out Save The Date cards.  Save the Dates have added importance for destination weddings and should be sent out six to eight months prior.  Birthdays, Anniversaries, and other parties this timeframe can be cut in half. 
invitation Suite: Paperie + Pen       Photography: Tana Photography

invitation Suite: Paperie + Pen       Photography: Tana Photography

deadline for RSVPs
This is information for you as a guess but it is not inappropriate for you to mention it on your invitation. Make your RSVP date two to three weeks before your event date -- this will allow enough time for you to get a final head count to the caterer/ venue (one week before). Sit down dinners vs buffets may perhaps make a difference but this does not mean you present bad form and not RSVP.   If guests still haven't responded by the deadline, give the guests a quick call and ask for their RSVPs (still via snail mail) so you have all their information.

 

Invitation Suite: Bliss Events      Photography: Ellie Asher

Invitation Suite: Bliss Events      Photography: Ellie Asher

No Kids Allowed
You need to address your event invitations correctly -- to each guest by name, not “and guest" Guests should understand that the invite is meant for only those mentioned.  If you plan on allowing children include the children's name on the inside invitation.  If perhaps you find that some reply with their children's names added, give them a call and explain that you're having an adults-only party and that you hope they can still attend. If there are a lot of kids in your family, you may want to consider hiring or arranging for a babysitter. IDoWED is happy to refer babysitters to you the bride.  Feel free to look through our directory to find these services.  Hire sitters is definitely not required, but it's a nice gesture. Check also with the venues and see if they have sitter services and include this as an option on the invitation.
Photography: Tana

Photography: Tana

Many invitation suites set the stage for your event. The formality of the suite will let the guests know everything from how they will dress to wether or not children will attend.  As a the host of the party you must present those details from the beginning and don't leave your guests guessing. 
Photography: Tana Photography

Photography: Tana Photography

(CNN)Not showing up to a wedding you've said you'll attend is bad form, but billing wedding guests for missed meals is probably not the best way to handle no-shows. 

Sending a bill to no-shows is a definite faux pas, according to Daniel Post Senning, co-host of the "Awesome Etiquette" podcast and great-great-grandson of manners expert Emily Post. 

any event professionals and others have weighted in on the situation.  We are happy that it has brought an awareness to the importance of RSVPing and the importance of including details in your invites like "NOKIDS." 
When designing your invites talk to your paper geniuses.  If a guest doesn't show let your event coordinator handle the situation.  
hould you be billing your guests perhaps just also remember they may be so offended that friendships may end.  The same is true if you RSVP and do not show perhaps you should consider sending a prompt apology card with a gift check of apology. 
HAPPY EVENT PLANNING
 

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